Perfectly Imperfect

I feel like I've been neglecting you guys, so I come bearing things to hopefully put smiles on your faces. First, there are a couple tiny fics I wrote on twitter last night, one Supernatual and one Inception.

( Magic Fingers, Dean/Cas, Supernatural )

( The Cupcake Wars AU, Arthur/Eames, Inception )

I was kind of drunk last night, okay guys? Does that not do it for you? How about some pics? Here's a lovely one of THardy.

Title: The Words Of My Mouth
Author: coffeebuddha
Rating: NC-17/FRAO
Characters/Pairings: Dean Winchester/Castiel
Word Count: 1050
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.
Contains: Rimming and the last vestiges of my ever dwindling shame.
Prompt: "Dean/ cas hot nummy dirty secks with dirty-talking." Requested by topetine.
Notes: Title taken from Psalm 19. I am going to hell.
( Read more... )

Title: An Easy Battle
Author: coffeebuddha
Rating: PG/FRE
Characters/Pairings: Dean Winchester/Castiel
Word Count: 451
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.
Prompt: "cas/dean, yay we've stopped the apocalypse & all is good in the world & we are sort of useless so let's be domestic-fun!" Requested by topetine.
( Read more... )

Title: Cherry Flavored Hell
Author: coffeebuddha
Rating: PG-13/FRT
Characters/Pairings: Sam, Dean Winchester/Castiel
Word Count: 575
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.
Prompt: "Cas is fallen (either from Season Five or an AU or future 'verse), and it's up to Dean to teach him something about being human that he's having trouble getting on his own." Requested by laurie_ky.
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Title: Small Comforts
Author: coffeebuddha
Rating: PG/FRE
Characters/Pairings: Dean Winchester/Castiel
Word Count: 586
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.
Prompt: "Dean/cas (or Cas/Dean either or) -- some nice hurt/comfort with castiel resting up from his ordeal in frontierland." Requested by topetine.
( Read more... )

You guys know that Supernatural AU fic that I'm not going to write because I don't have the time? Well, if I did have the time, the beginning would go something like this.
Dean is a Hero, and therefore does dangerous, reckless, somewhat stupid things on a fairly regular basis. Despite the fancy title, being a Hero isn't exactly a high rung job. His well worn and usually stained clothes only partially cover a wide array of interesting scars, his back seems to have a permanent crick in it from the endless crappy motel beds he sleeps in, and there's that little thing where he most likely won't make it past his thirty-fifth birthday. But, on the other hand, chicks tend to dig a guy who's just saved their life, his Hero identification card is enough to get him free drinks in most bars, and he never wanted to end up in a nursing home anyway.

All in all, it works for him.

Or, well, it did.

Because, despite the carefree, rebellious reputation that Heroes have, there are still rules, and topping the--admittedly short--list is a very simple but important one: Don't fuck with the gods. It's one of those things that everyone knows, right up there with silver bullets kill werewolves and you don't order the rotgut at the Roadhouse if you want to keep your liver for longer than the next three years.

The thing to remember about the gods is that they're dicks. Oh, there are a few who would be nice enough to grab a beer with--Dionysus and Bacchus are supposed to be a couple of regular laugh riots--but in general they're not exactly the kind of guys you'd want to invite over to watch a game. So, they're dicks, sometimes of the smitey, murderous variety, but they take care of each other. In every sense of the phrase. Heroes don't need to go after rogue gods, because the other gods won't let them stay rogue for long. They do, after all, have a certain reputation that they're trying to cultivate nowadays, and laying waste to an entire city because of a less than stellar offering is simply not considered seemly anymore.

On the flip side, though, the gods take care of each other. Trying to fight one is a suicide mission, because even if you do somehow manage to pull a win out of your ass, you're still going to end up dead.

Probably by the end of the day.

Probably in a very horrific, very memorable way.

The best case scenario that Dean's ever heard about happened around twenty years ago, back when he was still just a kid with a bad case of hero worship for his dad and a glamorized idea of what he did actually entailed. Some cocky, wannabe Hero, Ted, had been drinking at the same bar as his dad, and by the time the god walked in, he'd been too stupid with whiskey to notice what the other man was. No one really paid attention to what the two of them talked about, but every eye in the place was on them when Ted stood up with a slurred shout and slammed his fist into the god's nose. The god didn't even blink at the impact, just calmly sat his beer back on the bar and lifted his hand to touch the thin trickle of blood running out of his left nostril. He examined the bright red blood on the pads of his fingers, like the very concept of bleeding was foreign to him. After several tense seconds, he laughed, long and hard enough that a few other patrons let out nervous chuckles of their own, then, with a wide grin, he shook his head at Ted and said, "I think not."

A snap of his fingers and it was raining Ted.

So, yeah, rule one. Don't fuck with the gods.

Seeing as he's a Hero, born and raised, Dean knows all of this, but none of it is what's running through his head right now. Instead, all he can think is Oh, fuck me, as he stares at Castiel, god of Thursday, completely incapable of looking away from his almost perplexed face. Castiel slowly looks from his bleeding hand, down to the ground where his severed right ring finger is lolling in the dust, then up at the blade that's glinting wetly in Dean's grip.

Oh yeah.

Fuck his life.

***

I AM NOT WRITING THIS. I DON'T HAVE THE TIME TO WRITE THIS. GOD DAMN IT, BRAIN.

BTW, THIS IS WHAT I'M DOING AT CHURCH WHEN IT LOOKS LIKE I'M TAKING NOTES ON THE SERMON. >.>

I had a dream last night that I'm seriously considering trying to find the time to write up as a full length fanfic. In it, Castiel is a slightly absentminded god and Dean accidentally becomes his hammer.

It all starts when Dean, a Hero, cuts off Castiel's finger. Why? Because he is a Hero, and therefore does dangerous, reckless, somewhat stupid things on a fairly regular basis. Unfortunately, it turns out that making a god bleed is the equivalent of dropping to one knee and proclaiming your everlasting love. Except more binding. He could have just walked away, except that Cas decides he likes it, so he wants to put a ring on it. (Trufax. He said it in my dream in that flat, gravely way of his and it was one of the most glorious unconscious moments of my life.)

Dean is somewhat resistant, but ultimately unable to say no to his penis Cas and they end up having sex. Which Dean did NOT know would be the godly equivalent of walking down the aisle, no take backs, what with the blood and everything. So he learns his lesson: either fuck a god or make them bleed, but don't do both. Sam, of course, would have been able to tell him this, but he was too busy being smart somewhere else at the time. So he learns too late, because now he's mated to a god who has fucking criminal puppy dog eyes and lips to die for, which isn't all that bad, except there's that other thing. Ya know, about being his hammer.

Yeah, that thing.

See, in the old, less civilized days, gods mated with humans not for love or lust or anything like that, but to turn them into weapons. So, now Dean has access to some heavenly powers, which is totally kickass, except that Cas always looks at him like he's let him down in every way possible whenever he actually tries to use them. Although, in hindsight, maybe smiting that woman who got the last piece of pie before he could wasn't the most responsible use.

So, to sum up, Dean now has a hot, super weird new husband, a boatload of powers that he gets sent to the couch for using, and an unbearably smug little brother who won't stop waving books in his face and telling him to research things more before going on a hunt. He doesn't know whether to say fuck his life or fuck Cas, but he's Dean, so he'll probably do both.

Title: Newsletter
Author: coffeebuddha
Rating: PG-13/FRT
Characters/Pairings: Dean, Sam
Word Count: 456
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.
Summary: In which Sam is distressed, Dean is oblivious, and somebody needs to learn boundaries.
Notes: Written for a prompt left by kachera here.
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Title: Close To Your Skin
Author: coffeebuddha
Rating: NC-17/FRAO
Characters/Pairings: Dean/Castiel
Word Count: 2034
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.
Contains: Wings, completely plotless porn.
Summary: Cas has a mouth made for sin and Dean's never exactly been good at that whole 'resisting temptation' thing.
Notes: Written for a prompt left by topetine here. Title taken from the lyrics of Neon Trees' 'Your Surrender'.
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