Daily Drabble 71

[coffeebuddha]

Title: A Cat Named Cat
Author: coffeebuddha
Rating: PG-13/FRT
Characters/Pairings: Spencer Reid/Derek Morgan, Clooney, Cat the cat
Word Count: 812
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.
Prompt: sugakane_01 requested Morgan/Reid with a cockblocking cat. And then this happened. IDEK.




Derek is willing to admit that he's maybe just made a somewhat ridiculously big tactical error. In retrospect, it's obvious that when Spencer had shown up at his door just moments earlier with a tiny, bedraggled bundle of orange fur cradled in the crook of his arm, Derek's reaction shouldn't have been to look from it to Spencer and say, "Oh, good, you brought Clooney a new squeak toy. He's pretty much destroyed his old one."

The look Spencer gives him is a very specific look. It's the kind of look that says Derek belongs in remedial everything, which isn't exactly fair. Derek's smart, okay? Obviously not Spencer smart, but still smart, and it'd be nice if people would remember that sometimes.

"I took all the available AP classes my high school offered," Derek says defensively. "I passed them and everything."

Spencer tilts his head to the side and blinks at him very slowly. As if on cue, the kitten untucks its head from his elbow and echoes the tilt and blink.

For the life of him, Derek can't figure out why he suddenly has absolutely no control over the words that keep pouring stupidly out of his mouth. Maybe he does belong in remedial everything.

"Right," Spencer says, stretching the word out like taffy. "Clearly this is going to work better once you haven't been awake for seventy-two hours straight. I think Cat and I will just go home."

Derek can hear the capital letter, and his brain zeroes in on that one tiny, insignificant fact. It's with a growing sense of horror that he hears himself blurting out, "You named your cat Cat? Didn't you memorize a baby name book when JJ was pregnant? And you still named your cat Cat?"

Spencer's face goes scarily blank, the way it only ever does when he's trying to bury his Real Boy feelings under Star Trek trivia and arson statistics, and Derek has all of two seconds to realize that, oh shit, he just hurt Spencer's feelings before Spencer turns and starts back down the walkway to his car.

"Wait," Derek exclaims, and he stumbles down the front steps. It's February and he's dressed in his boxers and exactly one sock, so instead of the impassioned plea he'd planned on, he blurts out, "Shit, shit, fucking cold, shit!"

Spencer's shoulders are shaking. Derek is going to have to punch himself in the face if he made Spencer cry. At the very least he'll have to call Hotch to come over and do it for him, and Hotch punches like a beast for someone with hair like that.

Not that there's anything wrong with Hotch's hair.

It's kind of Clark Kentish. 

Okay, put in that light, maybe he punches exactly as hard as would be expected.

...

What was Derek doing again?

"You're pathetic," Spencer says far too fondly considering Derek made him cry. Except he doesn't sound like he's crying. Odd.

"Sorry," Derek garbles out between his chattering teeth, and Spencer takes his elbow and turns him back toward his house. This close, it's easier to see that the tension at his mouth is from trying to hold back a grin, and Derek can't figure out if Spencer laughing at him is better or worse than the possibility of making him cry. Probably best not to go down that road, he decides, and does his best to maintain his dignity while hopping back up his steps so that his socked foot is the only one that has to touch the ground until he's inside.

Spencer makes a sound that can only be called a giggle, so chances are he failed.

"You're not allowed to leave me because I insult your cat," Derek says. He thinks he'll write that into his wedding vows if they ever get around to getting married.

"That's not why I'm leaving. I'm leaving because you haven't slept in three days, so Indiana Jones and couch sex can wait until tomorrow," Spencer says in a tone that clearly implies he thinks this should all be obvious.

"Compromise with Indiana Jones and couch naps?" Derek tries as he stumbles up against Spencer's side and presses a messy kiss to his cheek. Cat yowls from where he--she? it?--is being squished between the two of them.

Across the room, Clooney opens one eye, wuffles, and then goes back to ignoring them. ​​

"Cat hates me," Derek mumbles as Spencer pushes him down onto the couch and tries to unfold the afghan on the back of the armchair one handed. "Cat hates me and you're going to leave me and now Clooney will be an only child forever."

"Right, exactly that," Spencer says with a laugh, bending down to kiss Derek's forehead.

And Derek has something to say to that, really he does, but he's asleep before he can form the words.

Thank you for reading! Feedback is always appreciated!

Spell check needs to shut its whore mouth and consult a dictionary, because 'wuffles' is so totally a real word. I kid you not. (Can you tell I'm exhausted and completely out of it right now? I should obviously not be allowed to finish fics in this condition, because that is how 200 words of Derek being cockblocked by a cat turns into 800 words of him being drunk from sleep deprivation.)

First commenter gets to pick the next prompt! When requesting, please keep in mind that I try to keep these between 100-500 words. For a list of my fandoms and squicks, go here. The list is worth checking out again even if this isn't your first rodeo, because it's just gone through a major overhaul. AUs, crack, genderbending, etc are all welcome in addition to more canon compliant prompts.

IMPORTANT: I'm embarrassingly behind on, well, pretty much everything at this point, so please keep the spoilers for the latest season anything still airing that's on my list AWAY from my journal in your prompts and comments. Thanks!

Comments

[coffeebuddha.livejournal.com]

I'm absolute crap at casefics, but if you won't write them being besties and Morgan and Hotch freaking out, then I WILL. :D It needs to happen! I've already written one fic where Morgan and Hotch get drunk together and commiserate over the people they love not loving them back. This is hardly new territory for me! *flails*

[rispacooper.livejournal.com]

Maybe like a small moment, like let's say instead of a snippet there was an actual story, but still set semi early in this universe, and starting about this point, where Wendell has asked once, maybe twice, and Hotch is still uncertain, and then Wendell still asks Hotch out, but like, to group things. Things where Reid is there.

And the whole team is going, so Aaron should at least make an appearance. Then he can see how Wendell gets alone with everyone...especially Garcia and Reid. Especially Reid.

Especially. Reid.

And then suddenly Morgan is at his elbow, bitching about it too and it's all so obvious and he should feel foolish. He *does* feel foolish but at least he's not as obvious as Derek, right?

[coffeebuddha.livejournal.com]

Yessssssssssssss. All of that. Absolutely ALL of it.

Oh, and the team has a history of going to that one bar! Maybe Reid is the one who invites Wendell? And Hotch shows up thinking it's just going to be the team, but there's Wendell sitting next to Reid and trying to convince him to order a slippery nipple.

Nobody's as obvious as Morgan, but not even that's enough to really cheer him up. :( Poor Hotch.

[rispacooper.livejournal.com]

haha

Oh god and the pitying looks from Rossi! He wouldn't even have to say a word, he'd just watch and salute Aaron with his drink and that would be enough to spur him on, but then once he gets over there, what is supposed to say while Wendell slowly gets Reid drunk without actually getting drunk himself, and if Reid had more friends, he'd recognize when someone was messing with him. And Wendell just gives Aaron a satisfied smile when he sees that Aaron knows. Like he knows he will understand, as if they have a connection. And just when Aaron can't take it anymore, Wendell sends Reid over to Morgan to ask for a ride home and Hotch wants him so much, just for that, for profiling them (though Derek *was* obvious) but mostly for doing something about it when he didn't have to, but before he can ask, Garcia comes over to introduce Kevin to Wendell and he doesn't get a moment alone with him again.

Maybe he thinks the moment is lost.


I have to go to bed. Why is this so pretty???

[coffeebuddha.livejournal.com]

Fucking yes! You get fun betrayal times in there too, because they've all made certain that Reid can definitely take care of himself and knows how to say no, but Aaron thought Wendell was better than getting someone drunk to try and get in their pants. He's just disappointed and concerned in the way of any man who appreciates justice and playing fair. It's not like he's jealous or hurt or anything.

Am I writing this or are you writing this? I don't care either way so long as it ends up being written.

I should have been in bed at least an hour ago. =/ Finishing this episode and then straight to bed for me! It's pretty because sometimes we ARE allowed nice things. (And then we use those nice things for porn, which...yeah.)

[rispacooper.livejournal.com]

Though he keeps wondering why Wendell is getting Reid so drunk and not actually making a move on him and maybe he finally gets it a second before he throws Reid at Morgan, but at least Morgan is just as slow. And it isn't like Wendell is going to talk about doing it or why. Or if he saw that, then does he see how jealous Aaron obviously was?

*I don't know* who is writing it! Anyone! All of it! Yes! Hurt feelings! Hotch it needs must!

Also I decided that the first date really ought to be from Wendell's pov. Though it might lose some of Hotch's internal angst hotness, I think the pov might make up for it.

[coffeebuddha.livejournal.com]

I'm watching the ep with the flattened bridezilla (poor Sweets, I see what you mean about his taste in women ETA: Or maybe not since she's not cheating on him after all...) and WHY AM I NOT SUPRISED that Wendell has a pack of girl friends? :D

Morgan wouldn't get it until Reid made a move. Up until then he'd be all fuming and 'what, does Wendell not think Spencer's good enough for him? Bastard.'

I think he would know that Hotch was unhappy and he'd HOPE it's because he's jealous, but he doesn't want to get his hopes too high over the whole thing.

You write the first date and I'll try to write this? I'm all full up on rehearsals and things--concert on Sunday that's kind of a major deal, because we're doing the national premiere of a piece and the composer, who's kind of a choral rock star right now, flew in for it--but I should have enough downtime to at least get a start on it. :D

Agreed on Wendell's POV for the first date. If nothing else, it makes the most sense for dealing with his jealousy over Jack. Gotta see in his head for all of that. ;)

[rispacooper.livejournal.com]

Wendell is weird like that. Bashful about some things and yet totally sure of himself about other things. heh. But he's surrounded by good looking geniuses, so no way can he ever get too conceited. And he's still sort of...manly...in the sense that he doesn't talk about stuff much. Hotch would have to make him.

Or try to make him. It would probably end in pouncing, or a smile and then Aaron would smile back and forget what he'd been talking about for a second.

FIRST DATE! Yeah I've got family stuff this weekend. *sigh*