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Title: A Cat Named Cat
Author: coffeebuddha
Rating: PG-13/FRT
Characters/Pairings: Spencer Reid/Derek Morgan, Clooney, Cat the cat
Word Count: 812
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.
Prompt: [livejournal.com profile] sugakane_01 requested Morgan/Reid with a cockblocking cat. And then this happened. IDEK.




Derek is willing to admit that he's maybe just made a somewhat ridiculously big tactical error. In retrospect, it's obvious that when Spencer had shown up at his door just moments earlier with a tiny, bedraggled bundle of orange fur cradled in the crook of his arm, Derek's reaction shouldn't have been to look from it to Spencer and say, "Oh, good, you brought Clooney a new squeak toy. He's pretty much destroyed his old one."

The look Spencer gives him is a very specific look. It's the kind of look that says Derek belongs in remedial everything, which isn't exactly fair. Derek's smart, okay? Obviously not Spencer smart, but still smart, and it'd be nice if people would remember that sometimes.

"I took all the available AP classes my high school offered," Derek says defensively. "I passed them and everything."

Spencer tilts his head to the side and blinks at him very slowly. As if on cue, the kitten untucks its head from his elbow and echoes the tilt and blink.

For the life of him, Derek can't figure out why he suddenly has absolutely no control over the words that keep pouring stupidly out of his mouth. Maybe he does belong in remedial everything.

"Right," Spencer says, stretching the word out like taffy. "Clearly this is going to work better once you haven't been awake for seventy-two hours straight. I think Cat and I will just go home."

Derek can hear the capital letter, and his brain zeroes in on that one tiny, insignificant fact. It's with a growing sense of horror that he hears himself blurting out, "You named your cat Cat? Didn't you memorize a baby name book when JJ was pregnant? And you still named your cat Cat?"

Spencer's face goes scarily blank, the way it only ever does when he's trying to bury his Real Boy feelings under Star Trek trivia and arson statistics, and Derek has all of two seconds to realize that, oh shit, he just hurt Spencer's feelings before Spencer turns and starts back down the walkway to his car.

"Wait," Derek exclaims, and he stumbles down the front steps. It's February and he's dressed in his boxers and exactly one sock, so instead of the impassioned plea he'd planned on, he blurts out, "Shit, shit, fucking cold, shit!"

Spencer's shoulders are shaking. Derek is going to have to punch himself in the face if he made Spencer cry. At the very least he'll have to call Hotch to come over and do it for him, and Hotch punches like a beast for someone with hair like that.

Not that there's anything wrong with Hotch's hair.

It's kind of Clark Kentish. 

Okay, put in that light, maybe he punches exactly as hard as would be expected.

...

What was Derek doing again?

"You're pathetic," Spencer says far too fondly considering Derek made him cry. Except he doesn't sound like he's crying. Odd.

"Sorry," Derek garbles out between his chattering teeth, and Spencer takes his elbow and turns him back toward his house. This close, it's easier to see that the tension at his mouth is from trying to hold back a grin, and Derek can't figure out if Spencer laughing at him is better or worse than the possibility of making him cry. Probably best not to go down that road, he decides, and does his best to maintain his dignity while hopping back up his steps so that his socked foot is the only one that has to touch the ground until he's inside.

Spencer makes a sound that can only be called a giggle, so chances are he failed.

"You're not allowed to leave me because I insult your cat," Derek says. He thinks he'll write that into his wedding vows if they ever get around to getting married.

"That's not why I'm leaving. I'm leaving because you haven't slept in three days, so Indiana Jones and couch sex can wait until tomorrow," Spencer says in a tone that clearly implies he thinks this should all be obvious.

"Compromise with Indiana Jones and couch naps?" Derek tries as he stumbles up against Spencer's side and presses a messy kiss to his cheek. Cat yowls from where he--she? it?--is being squished between the two of them.

Across the room, Clooney opens one eye, wuffles, and then goes back to ignoring them.

"Cat hates me," Derek mumbles as Spencer pushes him down onto the couch and tries to unfold the afghan on the back of the armchair one handed. "Cat hates me and you're going to leave me and now Clooney will be an only child forever."

"Right, exactly that," Spencer says with a laugh, bending down to kiss Derek's forehead.

And Derek has something to say to that, really he does, but he's asleep before he can form the words.





Thank you for reading! Feedback is always appreciated!

Spell check needs to shut its whore mouth and consult a dictionary, because 'wuffles' is so totally a real word. I kid you not. (Can you tell I'm exhausted and completely out of it right now? I should obviously not be allowed to finish fics in this condition, because that is how 200 words of Derek being cockblocked by a cat turns into 800 words of him being drunk from sleep deprivation.)

First commenter gets to pick the next prompt! When requesting, please keep in mind that I try to keep these between 100-500 words. For a list of my fandoms and squicks, go here. The list is worth checking out again even if this isn't your first rodeo, because it's just gone through a major overhaul. AUs, crack, genderbending, etc are all welcome in addition to more canon compliant prompts.

IMPORTANT: I'm embarrassingly behind on, well, pretty much everything at this point, so please keep the spoilers for the latest season anything still airing that's on my list AWAY from my journal in your prompts and comments. Thanks!
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Date: 2012-02-23 06:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] frost.livejournal.com
Hahaha, cute! =)

Date: 2012-02-23 06:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] coffeebuddha.livejournal.com
Thanks! :)

You have the prompt. Any idea what you'd like?

Date: 2012-02-23 06:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] frost.livejournal.com
*twirls you* =)

Umm....Any of the following: Criminal Minds- Reid/Morgan, Inception- Arthur/Eames, Supernatural- Sam/Gabriel, or Toy Story- Sid/Andy...
Prompt: Playing tourist? Maybe with one of the half being really...enthusiastic/embarrassing? Lol, I don't know. I'll take anything with any of the following pairings, please and thank you! ;)

Date: 2012-02-23 06:56 am (UTC)
black_sluggard: (Default)
From: [personal profile] black_sluggard
Hee. Sleep-deprived Morgan is adorable.

Date: 2012-02-23 07:01 am (UTC)
black_sluggard: (Default)
From: [personal profile] black_sluggard
Huh. Sid/Andy is not a pairing that would have ever occurred to me...but it's kind of awesome.

Date: 2012-02-23 07:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] coffeebuddha.livejournal.com
Thank you! :)

Date: 2012-02-23 07:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] coffeebuddha.livejournal.com
I have a 3000k unfinished Sid/Andy commentfic floating around on someone's LJ that I should really finish one of these days...

They're awesomesauce. I can rec a really good writer for them too if you want. She creates this whole huge world for them that is so amazing that it kind of makes me want to fly/cry/die.

Date: 2012-02-23 07:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] coffeebuddha.livejournal.com
Funtimes! I think Sid/Andy needs to happen. :)

Date: 2012-02-23 07:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] frost.livejournal.com
Lol, that's the pairing I was leaning towards, too. =)
I read [livejournal.com profile] snooter's fic not too long ago and was surprised by how much I liked it. ^^

Date: 2012-02-23 07:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] frost.livejournal.com
Hahaha, I was surprised when I first saw the pairing, but it intrigued me...and then I read this: http://snooter.livejournal.com/tag/sid%2Fandy
It is pretty awesome. =)

Date: 2012-02-23 07:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] coffeebuddha.livejournal.com
Snooooooooooooooter. Yes, that was who I was going to rec to her. :D

Date: 2012-02-23 07:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] coffeebuddha.livejournal.com
Someone on my flist discovered snooter's fic last summer and I got caught up in her enthusiasm for it. I have about 3k written on a fic for the two of them that I'm going to have to finish one day. At the very least I should clean it up from its commentfic form and post it here. XD

Date: 2012-02-23 07:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] frost.livejournal.com
I have a 3000k unfinished Sid/Andy commentfic floating around on someone's LJ that I should really finish one of these days...
Yes, please! ;)

Date: 2012-02-23 07:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] frost.livejournal.com
Lol, [livejournal.com profile] foxxcub? :D
Yes, please do! I'd love to read more of this pairing. =)

Date: 2012-02-23 07:24 am (UTC)
black_sluggard: (Default)
From: [personal profile] black_sluggard
Okay, now I have to ask in case I ever get the drabble again...

Have you ever seen the cartoon Gargoyles?

Date: 2012-02-23 07:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] coffeebuddha.livejournal.com
OMG, YES. I had a whole long Puck/OFC fic plotted out once that I think I still have a few thousand words of somewhere. Puck was my favorite. Everyone else was pretty damn awesome too, though. I actually watched it in high school instead of as a kid, because I wasn't allowed to watch it when I was little.

Date: 2012-02-23 07:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] coffeebuddha.livejournal.com
Got it in one. ;)

If nothing else, I'll clean up what I have written and post it to my LJ tomorrow. &hearts

Date: 2012-02-23 07:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] frost.livejournal.com
That would be awesome! :D ♥
All right, I'm off to bed now. G'night! ☆

Date: 2012-02-23 07:43 am (UTC)
black_sluggard: (Default)
From: [personal profile] black_sluggard
I was freaking obsessed with it when I was in middle school.

Yeah, Puck was freaking awesome, and the whole thing with Owen has to be what cemented my fetish for bizarre plot twists. MacBeth was my favorite though.

Personally, I've had an itch for the off the wall pairing of Matt Bluestone/MacBeth.

(No, I don't care if they never met on the show, I mean...c'mon. A former FBI agent turned cop conspiracy theorist and an immortal Scottish king with tech toys that would make Batman cry? It would kick ass.)

I have a beginning planned out, I just have no idea where I'd really want it to go. :(

Date: 2012-02-23 07:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sugakane-01.livejournal.com
LOL at this point let's just all agree that Derek needs to go to sleep and not speak again until he's gotten at least 8 hours cause sleep deprived Derek has no filter and no sense :P

I love how Clooney basically ignored them all, like he was a long suffering pet that refused to be dragged into the insantiy and I will not lie : a cat named Cat is freaking epic. Now I have head canon where Cat and Clooney snuggle together and judge their humans. Harshly.

Thank you so much doll :)

Date: 2012-02-23 04:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] roachstar.livejournal.com
Oh my god! I LOVE Sid/Andy!!! I read and re-read Snooter's fic ALL the time!

Date: 2012-02-23 04:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] coffeebuddha.livejournal.com
I keep trying to figure out why he's so sleepy. Did he just get home from a case? Does he have insomnia? Did he get caught up in a marathon viewing of RuPaul's Drag Race? We may never know!

Clooney is above this kind of madness. Someone please feed him his kibble and stop blocking his nice, warm sunbeam. Cat likes to sleep curled up in a ball on top of Clooney's head. Trufax. They're harsher critics than that Russian judge. :D

I'm glad you like it! &hearts

Date: 2012-02-23 04:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] coffeebuddha.livejournal.com
He has a sunny disposition and he's good with kids and animals! &hearts Puck FOREVER.

That pairing...I think I would really like to see that pairing. :D

I'm here if you ever want to brainstorm ideas.

Date: 2012-02-23 06:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rispacooper.livejournal.com
First of all, HOTCH *IS* SUPERMAN. Why didn't we see it before? So obvious!

Also cute boys! And feelings! (Real Boy! Aw, does he tell Reid he thinks of him that way? and Reid needs to explain Cat plz...oh um also I wnat this Reid to spend time with Wendell...but I am not demanding anything mind you. Just um...putting it out there).

Date: 2012-02-23 06:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bela-black.livejournal.com
LOL! awesome. this had me grinning like an idiot the entire time. a) because of the cuteness and b) because of the humour. which is brilliant!
hotch's hair. clooney as an only child. :DDD

more of this, please!
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