this is a nonpost of nonsense

[coffeebuddha]

1. I'm haven't disappeared again, I'm just trying to figure out a way to be less of a zombie. I was in the store the other day looking at spices and it wasn't until someone stopped and asked if I was okay that I realized I was crying. For no fucking reason. I was just that tired. I picked up some valerian root pills and am trying a couple of the other things you guys suggested. No huge improvements yet, but I managed a whole four hours last night, which is probably the longest I've slept in one go in about a month now. Cross fingers and pray that things keep getting better.

2. I have complicated personal feelings about blowjobs that are probably way too tmi to post all over my LJ.

3. I've recently discovered that I kind of ship Puck/Kurt from Glee like whoa if it's well written and I'm incredibly saddened that the shipping name of choice for them is apparently something other than Purt. Because the word Purt makes me giggle.

4. I started taking a cake decorating certification class a couple weeks ago. Apparently I should do all my writing in frosting, because my handwriting looks SO much better when I do it that way.

5. I am full of opinions about Iron Chef and The Next Iron Chef and might have to do an entire post about it, because I would love to see Chuck Hughes as the next Iron Chef, but the show--and the cooking world in general--is in desperate need of more estrogen.

6. I've been so focused on JGL's dimples and sometimes super tight pants that I somehow neglected to really appreciate his arms. This was wrong of me and I apologize.

7. In other news, THardy continues to make all my dreams come true.

Comments

[theslashbunny.livejournal.com]

1. Have you considered going to a doctor? Less than four hours a sleep a night for a month? Not good, sweetie. :(

2. Feel free to share in a PM any time you feel the need. :D

3. Purt. *gigglesnort* Well-written Purt is WIN. Actually, well-written Puck and well-written Kurt is WIN anywhere...

4. CAKE DECORATING?! *is jealous* I've never taken a course in that, but I think it'd be so much fun! And it'd make my cupcakes much prettier... My sister-in-law does cake decorating, too! She's gotten really good at it and I'm so jealous of my brother getting to be her taste-tester. :(

5. As much as many industries need more estrogen, sometimes you just have to root for who you think would do the best job. :D

6. I love you.

7. I love you so much.

Good to hear from you, dearie. I was worried. :) Glad to hear you're (kinda) okay. Or at least that things seem to be improving.

[coffeebuddha.livejournal.com]

1. I don't have insurance anymore, so a doctor's not exactly an option right now.

2. ;)

3. I'm also conflicted by my sudden love of Will/Finn. >.>

4. IT'S SO MUCH FUN. I'm a lot more interested in making cakes than decorating them, but I'm really enjoying the class anyway.

5. I mostly just want Chuck to win because I'm and want in his pants. But I really respect the HELL out of a couple of the women competing on the show this season, so I'm seesawing on what I'd like to see happen.

6-7. &hearts

I'm going to try to get back to writery things tomorrow provided I sleep enough that my eyes stop feeling like they're falling out of my head. I'm also probably going to make a major change to the way Daily Drabbles work after I finish your prompt, so heads up about that. There was something else I was going to say, but I've suddenly forgotten what it was. OH! I wrote a tiny Hotch/Garcia fluffy comment fic thing the other day that I really need to post to my journal. It's like cavity inducing or some shit. Sorry I worried you! &hearts Things look to be looking up, which is a good way to look, and now I've said look so many times that it doesn't even feel like a real word. Look.

[sugakane-01.livejournal.com]

*FLAILS*

I am a chronic insomniac. Strangely though, its only at night that I can't sleep. I can nap during the day if I really try, but I can NEVER sleep at night.

I am the queen of TMI. Boundaries...I seriously need to discover some. And an internal editor would rock. I see your complicated personal feelings about blow jobs and raise you my strangely non emotional view of sexual relations. XD

I ship Puck/Kurt something fierce. Not as fierce as I ship Klaine (seriously, I'm EMBARRASSED by how hard rep the SS KLAINE lol) But Kurt is my favorite from Glee, so I always say my OTP is Kurt/Happiness. The only ship that doesn't extend to is Kurtofsky. I can even look past the douchebaggery of the Jolly Green Jackass and ship Kurt/Finn if its well written, but I just CAN'T ship Kurt/Dave. It hits WAY too many personal buttons for me to be ok with that ship. I don't even want them to be friends in canon, that's how much Kurt/Dave bothers me.

I only watch Food Network Challenge when its cake challenges. There's this awesome website called Cakewrecks that is like, the hall of fame of epic cake failure.

I have NEVER agreed with who they picked for Next Iron Chef. EVER. LOL. I'm rooting for Marcus Samuelson...he's such a good chef and not the least bit toolish *cough Bobby Flay*. I'm such a Top Chef girl though, its not even funny. And do not EVEN get me started on Food Network Star...that show ticks me off something fierce. And they are showing a promo for the Next Iron Chef. Weird.

Wants to see 50/50 SO BAD...despite Seth Rogan who I have a strange dislike of lol.

[coffeebuddha.livejournal.com]

Oh, I wish I could nap. I've never been able to. Not even when I was a little kid. According to my mom, I gave up napping by the time I was about three and used to walk around at night so tired I'd fall over, but refuse to sleep when they put me to bed. Some of my earliest memories are of pacing around my bedroom in the middle of the night making up stories to entertain myself because I couldn't sleep and didn't want to risk turning on a light to read. So basically this isn't a new problem. =P

lol People who don't have internal filters tend to be either really creepy or really funny to talk to. (I consider you to be in the second category, just so you know. ;)

I've read some Kurt/Blaine and loved it, but I haven't really gotten into the fandom and my only contribution to it is a Bryan Ryan/Will pwp, so my 'omgYES' reaction to Kurt/Puck took me by surprise. I have mixed feelings about Finn, because I do think he was out of line about certain things--calling Kurt a fag is inexcusable--but I also think he was provoked and reacting in fairly typical teenage manner when he told Kurt off after making it clear time after time that he wasn't interested and Kurt still kept sexually harassing him. Neither of them came out of that whole debacle looking good in my opinion. I like the brotherly relationship they have going on now though. I feel sad that Karlofsky is so ashamed of who he is, but I kind of wished they'd expelled him and booted him off the show. They may yet do a redemption arc for him, but I'm not overly interested in seeing it. Still, it's nice seeing a show that covers a variety of teenage homosexual characters and how they react to coming to terms with themselves.

Love, love, LOVE the cake challenges. :D AND CAKEWRECKS! :D YES!

I've never watched Next Iron Chef before, but I like several of the people who are on it this season, so I'll probably watch it. Is there anyone who doesn't think Bobby Flay is a douchebag? lol

ME TOO! On both accounts...lol

Shit. I have a 50/50 gif I was going to include in this comment, but I can't find it ANYWHERE. :(

FOUND IT.

(http://s893.photobucket.com/albums/ac139/coffeebuddha88/?action=view&current=JGLRECYCLES.gif)

[rispacooper.livejournal.com]

What's going on in that JGL picture? It looks sort of apocalypse AU and dangerous and awesome. ...except for the normal people going about their lives in the background.


Have you been to the doc yet for like...Zolpidem and shit? Or are you anti-that? I can understand that. Just wondering. :)

[coffeebuddha.livejournal.com]

It's from a movie he's in that's coming out next year where he's a bicycle messenger guy in New York, which is apparently serious business. *nods* The chain is his bike lock chain thing. He wears it around his waist because he loves us and wants us to be happy. &hearts

I'm hesitant about sleeping pills because I know I have an addictive personality in the not good way and a family history of substance abuse. I'm hesitant about doctors in general because I have no insurance. =/

[rispacooper.livejournal.com]

I know Seroquel is the bad one, but Ambien seems to be okay for people provided they don't take it everyday and they let themselves fall asleep once they've taken it and don't, you know, start doing things in zombie mode.

But I've never taken either.

I *have* taken anti-anxiety meds, and I liked them. Know anyone who can hook you up with some Ativan?

[coffeebuddha.livejournal.com]

I'll keep that in mind. :)

I don't. I should probably start hanging out with shadier people...

hugga!

[rispacooper.livejournal.com]

haha I wouldn't say shadier, so much as...I know a lot of people with problems that require medication, and sometimes they are given too much.

My panic attacks and anxiety were really, really bad years ago. I've gotten better since then, but Ativan is one of those, take it when you need it type drugs.

Anxiety in general sucks. Not that I know that that's the cause of your insomnia, just, you know, a thought. :)

Re: hugga!

[coffeebuddha.livejournal.com]

lol I know some people on medication, but they're not the kind who would be willing to take the risk of sharing it. Because they're selfish bastards...

Anxiety might be a big part of my most recent bout of insomnia. Ever since the tornadoes came through where I live in April, I've gotten really paranoid that something major is going to happen if I go to sleep. Huh. Never even made that connection until now.

Re: hugga!

[rispacooper.livejournal.com]

What I find really interesting about the human mind is how even with really smart people, problems with one issues manifest themselves physically in the weirdest ways, seemingly unconnected and then...

it hits you, and you feel really strange about it. Relieved and also stupid.

Being "suffocated" at a job by hateful hateful boss=panicking that you can't breathe.

Bad things come at night=not sleeping at night.

Seriously, minds, get it together, be a little more direct, plz!

Re: hugga!

[coffeebuddha.livejournal.com]

Brains are the bitches of the human body. Indirect, overly complicated, and sometimes seem like they're more trouble than they're worth.

I do feel a little stupid that it took me that long to make the connection, but it's nice to have a tiny idea of what's been going on, because I've always had trouble sleeping, but not like this.

I just saw a preview for the new Three Musketeers movie. It looks ridiculously implausible and I want to watch it so badly.

Re: hugga!

[rispacooper.livejournal.com]

I've been reading a book on brains actually (braaaaaaaiiiiinnnnssss!). Yeah, they are...complicated.

I was *just* thinking earlier today about that Three Musketeers movie and how they keep remaking it and every time it just gets worse. I was like...I see the appeal of the story and the characters as written though I don't actually care for the book/books, but what is it about them that makes such cheesy fun but terrible movies? And what compels us to watch them all?

Ah well. Mysteries make life worth living.

Re: hugga!

[coffeebuddha.livejournal.com]

Oh? Is it good?

No clue, but I want to watch it if only for what you know are going to be some epic O.o moments. I can't decide if the lack of Charlie Sheen is a point in or against its favor...

Re: hugga!

[rispacooper.livejournal.com]

It was good, though sometimes too into like...axon and neuron talk (though I enjoy saying basal ganglia). Liars, Lovers, and Heroes: What the New Brain Science Reveals About How We Become Who We Are.

Re: hugga!

[coffeebuddha.livejournal.com]

I enjoy saying basal ganglia

Who doesn't? I might have to add that to my to read list.

I'm finally reading your superhero thing. !!! I'm only a handful of pages in, but Duncan and the Kitten are my new favorite thing. And "It involved math" will possibly never stop making me giggle. And now there's an IT guy and I think I see where this is going.

(http://s893.photobucket.com/albums/ac139/coffeebuddha88/?action=view&current=johnstewartconfetti.gif)

GLITTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[rispacooper.livejournal.com]

CAL APPROVES OF THIS!!!!

(I have a Fassbender doing puppy eyes gif that I'd send back to you just for your/its awesomeness, but it's on a dif computer. I will send later).



Seriously, I write the same story every time. No. Okay actually I have two stories the Rene/James and the Ray/Cal. DON'T CARE IS FUN.

[sinjah.livejournal.com]

1. I really feel for you. I hope something works for you.

2. Dude, I have had a lot of feelings about blowjobs too, and the past couple of days I was thinking about it a lot and contemplating posting them to LJ, but they're waaaay too tmi XD

3. I've read two fics in the Glee fandom, and they were both Kurt/Puck ;)

4. CAKE DECORATING! Awesome! Do you do magical things with frosting and royal icing and those adorable sprinkles that come in various tiny shapes?

5. These are basically my thoughts exactly when it comes to The Next Iron Chef.

6. *_____*

[coffeebuddha.livejournal.com]

1. Thanks. &hearts

2. I think blowjobs are just really easy to have feelings and opinions about. My opinions are a mixture of positive and contemplative.

3. They just REALLY hit my opposites attracting kink.

4. YES! And not yet. Right now I'm doing things with buttercream and spending a lot of time muttering profanities under my breath while trying to make pretty borders and daisies.

[sinjah.livejournal.com]

2. Mine are a bit contemplative but mostly positive to the point that it would be uncomfortable to write about it (for the people who would read it, obviously) ^_^

3. You should read this and this, if you haven't already.

4. I am jealous. I really, really need to get myself a decent set of piping tips, and some food coloring. (Did you see those gorgeous cookies I posted at dlasta's journal the other day?)

[coffeebuddha.livejournal.com]

2. Same here. ;)

3. Hurray for recs! :D Thank you, bb!

4. I have plenty of food coloring, but I'm still stuck using tipless ziploc baggies most of the time if I want to pipe anything. (I hadn't, but those are lovely.)

[dlasta.livejournal.com]

1. That actually sounds more like depression with the side effect of insomnia. You should definitely see a doctor, though. No reason to wait until you have no reserves left and it might be easily fixed. (Um, I speak from experience, not just because I like the sound of my virtual voice.:)

2. And that's why we can lock posts. (I want to know this stuff!)

4. So. Much. Yes.

6-7. Even more yes. JGL's forearms. Thardy's everything.

[coffeebuddha.livejournal.com]

1. It's possible. I've had issues with depression for years now, though it's never manifested itself like this before. I'm leaning more toward the anxiety theory--the area where I live was devastated by tornadoes earlier this year, which is when things took a turn for the worse--but I'm not willing to rule depression out. A doctor's probably not going to happen though. I don't have insurance or the money to pay for it out of pocket.

2. Huzzah for locked posts! I'm still not certain I feel comfortable sharing my thoughts on blowjobs with even that many people though. But I feel like somebody other than topetine should be forced to suffer through them. lol

[dlasta.livejournal.com]

1. Every person with chronic depression learns to control it to some extent. And if it's not the worst version of it (no appetite, insomnia, crying, physical weakness, lack of concentration) it's..weird. Like, how can it be depression when you're not *completely* down and fucked up? And when it's like that, you often get anxiety as a side effect.

I'm so sorry if this sounds like I'm pushing a 'diagnosis' on you. You know yourself the best. It just sounds really familiar.

If a doctor is out of the question you should pay special attention to how you eat and exercise. I know, I know, that sounds so stupid and ineffective but those two are the simplest ways to affect your mood. Also, if you live alone (can control your environment), clean and organized home helps a bit too.

I'll shut up now. *swears*

2. *cough* Mass email. *cough* :)

[vaultsofthesky.livejournal.com]

I empathize completely. I have chronic insomnia too. Once I'm asleep I'm OK, but getting there is torture. Its a symptom of my GAD and depression; and I, like you, have a family history of addiction and refuse to take medication. I know my anxiety and OCD tendencies contribute to my difficulties sleeping (ever check your alarm is on 20 times a night?- that's me!)

Unfortunately none of the supplements, home remedies, etc. work for me... Fortunately, I work from home mostly on my own schedule when I feel like it... Which I know is not an option for most people. I do tend to sleep better during the day, so I usually get to sleep by 8am and crash for most of the day.

I do find meditation-type exercises can sometimes ease the anxiety (and resulting tension headaches)and let me sleep. I personally use a kind of cobbled together un-mindfulness, pulling the tension into tight focus on the inhale and pushing it out on the exhale. I also find building myself a mental dreamscape or narrative (which shouldn't be hard for a mind as creative as yours) helps. I end up building it until I get so engrossed I forget the worries, and fall into the dream without realizing it... It's my own version of a bedtime story. Without the book- If I try to read I end up reading the entire book in a single night.

In any case, good luck! I'm right there with you tonight!