Aunt Coffeebuddha Has Her Bitch Pants On
Nov. 7th, 2010 12:27 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
coffeebuddhaYou know I love you guys. You know I want everything that's good for you. You know I want to fill your lives with puppies and rainbows, if that's what floats your boat, or guns and handcuffs, if that's what floats your boat. I generally consider myself to be a nice person who cares about people. If someone I care about asks me for a favor, 95% of the time my immediate reaction isn't 'What is it?' or 'It depends.' It's 'Of course. Tell me what you need.' I want to help. I want to make things nice for you.
Why can't we have nice things?
I'm mad, darlings. No, I'm not just mad, I'm beyond mad. I'm fucking pissed off. I love you, but you make me want to hurt you. I'm tired of biting my tongue. I'm tired of not telling people that they're being rude or entitled or snotty little brats. I'm tired of clicking on my friends page and seeing stories without headers or cuts or that aren't stories at all, no matter how much they may pretend to be. I want to be nice. I want to be nice so badly because I know I care way too much about what people think about me, but being nice is giving me an ulcer, so I'm going to try something different.
1. You are not a special little snowflake. I know it hurts to hear, but it's true. The rules apply to you. If a comm requires a header, use a fucking header. Actually, even if it doesn't, use one. It's the polite thing to do. It'll even probably get you more views.
2a. People are going to criticize your work. Waah, writing is hard. Waah, people are mean. You know what? Tough shit. You made the decision to write it. You made the decision to post it where everyone can see it. If I make the decision to tell you that you did something implausible or stupid or outright wrong, then there is not one fucking thing you can do about it. Put your big girl panties on and deal. Make your expectations known to your readers. Can't handle negative feedback? Then say that. I will respect you so much more as a person if you tell me that you're too delicate of a flower for criticism than if you ask for feedback and then are butthurt because someone gave it to you. And if someone tries to help you by pointing out things like grammatical or spelling errors, the correct response is NOT 'mean people are mean!' It's 'thank you, I appreciate your taking the time to keep me from looking like a fool.' Mr. T isn't the only one who pities the fool. Or he might be. I don't pity them, I detest them. There's a difference.
2b. Every flame is negative, but not every negative comment is a flame. You wanna know why Jesus wept? It's because you people can't seem to figure out something as simple as that! Not every negative comment is even mean. It's not a personal attack. It's not someone trying to make you break down and cry. It's a comment made by someone who didn't like or agree with what you did. You know how you deal with that? You deal with that by either deciding that you still like what you did and moving on or taking note of what they said if it's valid and applying it next time.
3. Spoilers. You know what pisses me off? You know what makes me want to fling things and tear my hair and generally act like a spoiled toddler in a candy store who's just been told no for the first time? When you put spoilers in your header. Especially when it's within days of the episode airing. Especially when it isn't the first time that week I've had to ask someone to please not do that again. Especially when I was fucking nice about it both times, because I'm a fucking nice person. And you know what makes me even pissier? When I contact the mod of the community you idiots are posting to asking nicely if they'll please repeat the rules that they wrote about not posting spoilers in case those people just missed it and then being fucking ignored.
4. And I can't even begin to put into words how negatively I respond when someone demands people review their story. Because the fact that they're demanding instead of requesting-how hard is it to phrase something as a question and tack a please on the end? Really? Am I bitch for thinking that manners matter?-strikes me as incredibly presumptuous. Oh, look, I guess I could put it into words after all.
These things make me Very Angry. They aren't a complete list of everything that's been pissing me off lately, but they make me see red and get tunnel vision and do things that I don't like to do because I don't like who I become when I'm angry.
I'm not trying to discourage anyone from writing. I'm NOT. Write to your heart's content. Sit down, churn out something brilliant, and then wave it in my face with an 'I told you so'. I will applaud you. I will applaud you doubly if you secure a beta to help you, because I don't think there's anyone who's good enough that their writing couldn't be improved by the right beta. I know my writing's improved dramatically since finding one who calls me on my shit. But if you try and wave something in my face that's out of character and poorly thought out and rude, then be forewarned that I no longer plan on always following my normal rule of biting my tongue and just back buttoning out of a fic that I don't like. No, I will MAKE time in my busy schedule to sit down and pick out each and every thing I see that's wrong with it and tell you why I disagree in exquisite, brutal detail. Now, I'm going to grab some pain killers for my lovely migraine and crawl into bed, because today has been shittastic and I just saw the post that broke my proverbial camel's back.
Why can't we have nice things?
I'm mad, darlings. No, I'm not just mad, I'm beyond mad. I'm fucking pissed off. I love you, but you make me want to hurt you. I'm tired of biting my tongue. I'm tired of not telling people that they're being rude or entitled or snotty little brats. I'm tired of clicking on my friends page and seeing stories without headers or cuts or that aren't stories at all, no matter how much they may pretend to be. I want to be nice. I want to be nice so badly because I know I care way too much about what people think about me, but being nice is giving me an ulcer, so I'm going to try something different.
1. You are not a special little snowflake. I know it hurts to hear, but it's true. The rules apply to you. If a comm requires a header, use a fucking header. Actually, even if it doesn't, use one. It's the polite thing to do. It'll even probably get you more views.
2a. People are going to criticize your work. Waah, writing is hard. Waah, people are mean. You know what? Tough shit. You made the decision to write it. You made the decision to post it where everyone can see it. If I make the decision to tell you that you did something implausible or stupid or outright wrong, then there is not one fucking thing you can do about it. Put your big girl panties on and deal. Make your expectations known to your readers. Can't handle negative feedback? Then say that. I will respect you so much more as a person if you tell me that you're too delicate of a flower for criticism than if you ask for feedback and then are butthurt because someone gave it to you. And if someone tries to help you by pointing out things like grammatical or spelling errors, the correct response is NOT 'mean people are mean!' It's 'thank you, I appreciate your taking the time to keep me from looking like a fool.' Mr. T isn't the only one who pities the fool. Or he might be. I don't pity them, I detest them. There's a difference.
2b. Every flame is negative, but not every negative comment is a flame. You wanna know why Jesus wept? It's because you people can't seem to figure out something as simple as that! Not every negative comment is even mean. It's not a personal attack. It's not someone trying to make you break down and cry. It's a comment made by someone who didn't like or agree with what you did. You know how you deal with that? You deal with that by either deciding that you still like what you did and moving on or taking note of what they said if it's valid and applying it next time.
3. Spoilers. You know what pisses me off? You know what makes me want to fling things and tear my hair and generally act like a spoiled toddler in a candy store who's just been told no for the first time? When you put spoilers in your header. Especially when it's within days of the episode airing. Especially when it isn't the first time that week I've had to ask someone to please not do that again. Especially when I was fucking nice about it both times, because I'm a fucking nice person. And you know what makes me even pissier? When I contact the mod of the community you idiots are posting to asking nicely if they'll please repeat the rules that they wrote about not posting spoilers in case those people just missed it and then being fucking ignored.
4. And I can't even begin to put into words how negatively I respond when someone demands people review their story. Because the fact that they're demanding instead of requesting-how hard is it to phrase something as a question and tack a please on the end? Really? Am I bitch for thinking that manners matter?-strikes me as incredibly presumptuous. Oh, look, I guess I could put it into words after all.
These things make me Very Angry. They aren't a complete list of everything that's been pissing me off lately, but they make me see red and get tunnel vision and do things that I don't like to do because I don't like who I become when I'm angry.
I'm not trying to discourage anyone from writing. I'm NOT. Write to your heart's content. Sit down, churn out something brilliant, and then wave it in my face with an 'I told you so'. I will applaud you. I will applaud you doubly if you secure a beta to help you, because I don't think there's anyone who's good enough that their writing couldn't be improved by the right beta. I know my writing's improved dramatically since finding one who calls me on my shit. But if you try and wave something in my face that's out of character and poorly thought out and rude, then be forewarned that I no longer plan on always following my normal rule of biting my tongue and just back buttoning out of a fic that I don't like. No, I will MAKE time in my busy schedule to sit down and pick out each and every thing I see that's wrong with it and tell you why I disagree in exquisite, brutal detail. Now, I'm going to grab some pain killers for my lovely migraine and crawl into bed, because today has been shittastic and I just saw the post that broke my proverbial camel's back.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-11-07 05:51 am (UTC)*clings* Silver lining, Deirest. Silver lining.
lol