An open letter to Tom Hardy

[coffeebuddha]

Mr Hardy, you have no idea who I am and if the fates are kind we will never meet. (I have absolutely no desire to meet most of the celebrities I like. I'm more than happy to admire you from afar and keep my delusions intact.) But Mr Hardy--can I call you THardy? I'mma call you THardy.--I have to say this.

The first time I saw you, it was in that Star Trek movie where Data is replaced by notData and everyone sings Blue Skies. I admit it. I thought you were attractive and talented, but in the course of blocking out that movie from my mind, I forgot about you.



Obviously that was my mistake and I am so sorry.

Fast forward a few years to when I finally saw Inception.



I blame the costumer for this one, because while I liked your character, I wasn't especially attracted to him, especially when there was JGL running around in his tight, tight pants. You have to know that that isn't the best look for you, right? Just...that hair. Honey, do you blame me for needing convincing? Thankfully, you are a total camwhore.








Camwhoring, uh...it really works for you.



It really...



...really...



...works for you. So while it took a while for me to get here, now my reaction is very much:

And pretty much every time I see you smiling like a dork, it's almost possible to believe that this is possible.



I love your dorky smile.







I love your apparent inability to keep your clothes on.









I love your shoulders.






I love how you seem to lose all control of your own body in interviews.






I love all the bb pictures of you there are floating around.









And I love so many, many other things about you.


Like your obvious love for your son...

...the way you seem so huggy...

...how easy it is to find pics of you with an arm around JGL's waist...

...your ability to pull off professional...

...and thuggish looks...

...and the way you can make even mundane everyday activities seem sexy.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is...



But I promise to try not to be creepy about it. Also, I would totally let you bite my shoes. ♥

Comments

[coffeebuddha.livejournal.com]

Wha...but...how? =/

I'm snobbish enough that I tend to shy away from prepackaged baking mixes, but that looks pretty damn tasty.

[rispacooper.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't use a cherry pie filling mix either. But the idea of it, chocolate cake with cherries inside intrigues me greatly.

[coffeebuddha.livejournal.com]

It sounds good. The closest I've come is making a chocolate cake with a cherry mousse filling, but chunks of whole cherries could be pretty amazing.

[rispacooper.livejournal.com]

Too much chocolate upsets my stomach though. It's a shame, because I have the ingredients. I HAVE THE POWER. I CAN BUILD IT.

[coffeebuddha.livejournal.com]

You could eat only a very small amount?

[rispacooper.livejournal.com]

I can't make only a small amount though. Well maybe I could. That's like...work though.

[coffeebuddha.livejournal.com]

Make a regular amount, cut off a small portion, and stick the rest in the freezer. Unless you're like me and you can hear it calling to you from there...

[rispacooper.livejournal.com]

There is currently no room in my tiny freezer. I'd have to like...eat all of it.
ALL OF IT.

Oh the delicious agony!

[coffeebuddha.livejournal.com]

Haha! Hmm, well most cakes can usually sit out a few days before they really need to be refrigerated or frozen so long as they're covered. Eat a bit and set the rest aside for later or until you can find someone else to feed?

Or eat it all and live in delicious agony. :D

[rispacooper.livejournal.com]

You are mean to taunt me. :)

[coffeebuddha.livejournal.com]

Nah. Taunting you would be bombarding you with pics of delicious things and making comments about how yummy they are.

This is just me pointing out your options. ;)

[rispacooper.livejournal.com]

They need single person serving desert recipes. Work on that, would you?

[coffeebuddha.livejournal.com]

http://www.fruitfromwashington.com/Recipes/scale/recipeconversions.php

I'm a fast worker. ;)

[rispacooper.livejournal.com]

Omg you *are* fast!

So what you're saying is, I should go bake a cake instead of reading up on Scotland Yard?

[coffeebuddha.livejournal.com]

It's a talent. Also, I was playing around on that page earlier. ;)

Well, you can read up on Scotland Yard while it's baking, right? And when you're eating it, you'll be keeping up your energy for more research. It's really the smart choice.

[rispacooper.livejournal.com]

It's a clever plan really. Efficient and fattening!

[coffeebuddha.livejournal.com]

That's the best kind of plan! \o/