Moonlight Reflections
Mar. 21st, 2010 01:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
coffeebuddhaMoonlight Reflections
Rated: G
"Will you miss him, Holly?"
Foaly's words echoed in her mind as Captain Holly Short perched on the windowsill of the boy in question's bedroom. Even shielded she felt bit uneasy, and not unduly so. Artemis Fowl had taken her by surprise before. However, looking at him now, bent over his computer's keyboard, the dim light from the screen softly illuminating his face, it was almost easy to believe him to be an innocent. "Good-bye, Holly. I won't see you again, though I'm sure you will see me." Those words, the very words that Artemis himself had uttered on their last meeting, bubbled up unbidden in her memory as she studied his pale profile. Had he known that she would be unable to let go; that she would return here to torture herself with thoughts of what could have been?
"Will you miss him, Holly?"
Holly sighed as her subconscious mind replayed the words once more, and turned her face from the window to drink in the full moon. If anyone found out that she was here, her badge was as good as gone. At the moment she was supposed to be completing the Ritual, the only excuse she could think of to slip above ground and catch a glimpse of the face that had been haunting her dreams. It was almost ironic really. The first time they had met, or more accurately when he abducted her, had been while she was completing the Ritual. Now her need to replenish her magic was what was bringing them together again, even if he would never know she was here.
"Will you miss him, Holly?"
After their first encounter, if anyone had asked, Holly would have said that she hated the arrogant, self-assured Artemis Fowl. Perhaps she would not have used those exact words; undoubtedly in fact, her own words would have been a great deal more colorful. Now she wasn't so sure that what she had felt was hatred. She certainly hadn't liked him, but that didn't necessarily mean she hated him. He was a slimy, underhanded, manipulative bastard, but there was something in his unwavering gaze that commanded some deeper emotion from any the unfortunate individuals he happened to turn them on.
It wasn't until he offered to return a portion of the gold for his mother's sanity that Holly was able to place the feeling. It was compassion. At that time, the imposing boy before her was living out the dream of many other Mud Boys his age. He was a genius, his parents, one assumed dead and the other insane, did not control his life, and he freely dallied in illegal affairs and now in magic. From a juvenile perspective he should have been immeasurably happy, but there was a difference between playing make-believe and actually living it. As loathe as he may be to admit it, Artemis was merely a lonely child who craved his parents attention, even if it meant loosing the majority of his freedom. Holly had felt sympathy for him, this unhappy child with no one save a bodyguard as company, and that, even more than the promise of gold, was what had driven her to come to his aide after all he had done to her. The anger and humiliation, they had faded because of the pleading expression that was hidden behind a carefully constructed, uncaring façade, and she had helped him.
"Will you miss him, Holly?"
Holly turned back toward the window. Her breath caught in her throat for a moment when Artemis looked up from his desk and seemed to stare straight into her eyes. For the briefest of seconds she was sure he had seen her, but after a long, tense moment he blinked and turned back to his work, rolling his head to loosen the muscles in his neck and shoulders. Holly sighed in relief and hovered above the ledge. If she stayed on her perch any longer the vibrations caused by being shielded would begin to deteriorate the ridge. With a sad smile, Holly came a bit closer to the window, careful to stay above her prior perch.
When he had asked for help to rescue his father, and then to save Butler, her compassion had only multiplied. If she hadn't been sure of his need for company before, she was then. By that point Holly had been positive that he had changed from the cold, unfeeling monster that he had been in the beginning. The pain that she had felt when he had instructed her to cut off Spiro's thumb had been beyond measure. It had been more than just dismay and repulsion; she had felt betrayed, as if he was going back on an unspoken promise between the two of them that he would never revert to the person he had been. But saying good-bye had been the worst of it all. Perhaps she was fooling herself and it had only been the mesmer, but it had seemed as though she had truly seen his trust in her. She couldn't help but feel that she had betrayed that trust. By now Holly no longer even considered hating Artemis. She cared for him too much to hate him.
"Will you miss him, Holly?"
"No," she had replied to Foaly that day on the ridge so long ago, "I will not miss him."
At the time she had thought her words to be a lie, but later she realized they were true. She didn't miss him. Holly didn't hate him, didn't love him, didn't miss him. She did more, so much more, than simply miss him. She craved him, yearned for the adventure that she always found herself wound up in when she was with him, and ached for the heady sensation of allowing herself to be caught up in one of his plans. Artemis was her own personal drug, immensely intoxicating and potentially poisonous to her system. His absence left an aching gap in her soul that hungered for more. Still, she did not love him. He was only a child, even by the Mud Men's standards. But, there was no doubt in her mind that if she watched him grow from a boy to a man the obsession she held for him would grow to love. The kindling was there, simply waiting for a flame to light it.
With trembling fingers Holly caressed the pane of glass that kept her from entering the room. "Good-bye," she whispered through silent tears, knowing that if possible, she would never return. She took to the sky.
"Will you miss him, Holly?"
No, she answered the little voice in her mind. I will not miss him. I will never miss him.
A new question popped into her mind then, not in Foaly's voice, or even Artemis's, but her own. "Do you need him, Holly," the voice asked, "and does that need scare you?"
Yes.
Written: 12-27-03
Rated: G
"Will you miss him, Holly?"
Foaly's words echoed in her mind as Captain Holly Short perched on the windowsill of the boy in question's bedroom. Even shielded she felt bit uneasy, and not unduly so. Artemis Fowl had taken her by surprise before. However, looking at him now, bent over his computer's keyboard, the dim light from the screen softly illuminating his face, it was almost easy to believe him to be an innocent. "Good-bye, Holly. I won't see you again, though I'm sure you will see me." Those words, the very words that Artemis himself had uttered on their last meeting, bubbled up unbidden in her memory as she studied his pale profile. Had he known that she would be unable to let go; that she would return here to torture herself with thoughts of what could have been?
"Will you miss him, Holly?"
Holly sighed as her subconscious mind replayed the words once more, and turned her face from the window to drink in the full moon. If anyone found out that she was here, her badge was as good as gone. At the moment she was supposed to be completing the Ritual, the only excuse she could think of to slip above ground and catch a glimpse of the face that had been haunting her dreams. It was almost ironic really. The first time they had met, or more accurately when he abducted her, had been while she was completing the Ritual. Now her need to replenish her magic was what was bringing them together again, even if he would never know she was here.
"Will you miss him, Holly?"
After their first encounter, if anyone had asked, Holly would have said that she hated the arrogant, self-assured Artemis Fowl. Perhaps she would not have used those exact words; undoubtedly in fact, her own words would have been a great deal more colorful. Now she wasn't so sure that what she had felt was hatred. She certainly hadn't liked him, but that didn't necessarily mean she hated him. He was a slimy, underhanded, manipulative bastard, but there was something in his unwavering gaze that commanded some deeper emotion from any the unfortunate individuals he happened to turn them on.
It wasn't until he offered to return a portion of the gold for his mother's sanity that Holly was able to place the feeling. It was compassion. At that time, the imposing boy before her was living out the dream of many other Mud Boys his age. He was a genius, his parents, one assumed dead and the other insane, did not control his life, and he freely dallied in illegal affairs and now in magic. From a juvenile perspective he should have been immeasurably happy, but there was a difference between playing make-believe and actually living it. As loathe as he may be to admit it, Artemis was merely a lonely child who craved his parents attention, even if it meant loosing the majority of his freedom. Holly had felt sympathy for him, this unhappy child with no one save a bodyguard as company, and that, even more than the promise of gold, was what had driven her to come to his aide after all he had done to her. The anger and humiliation, they had faded because of the pleading expression that was hidden behind a carefully constructed, uncaring façade, and she had helped him.
"Will you miss him, Holly?"
Holly turned back toward the window. Her breath caught in her throat for a moment when Artemis looked up from his desk and seemed to stare straight into her eyes. For the briefest of seconds she was sure he had seen her, but after a long, tense moment he blinked and turned back to his work, rolling his head to loosen the muscles in his neck and shoulders. Holly sighed in relief and hovered above the ledge. If she stayed on her perch any longer the vibrations caused by being shielded would begin to deteriorate the ridge. With a sad smile, Holly came a bit closer to the window, careful to stay above her prior perch.
When he had asked for help to rescue his father, and then to save Butler, her compassion had only multiplied. If she hadn't been sure of his need for company before, she was then. By that point Holly had been positive that he had changed from the cold, unfeeling monster that he had been in the beginning. The pain that she had felt when he had instructed her to cut off Spiro's thumb had been beyond measure. It had been more than just dismay and repulsion; she had felt betrayed, as if he was going back on an unspoken promise between the two of them that he would never revert to the person he had been. But saying good-bye had been the worst of it all. Perhaps she was fooling herself and it had only been the mesmer, but it had seemed as though she had truly seen his trust in her. She couldn't help but feel that she had betrayed that trust. By now Holly no longer even considered hating Artemis. She cared for him too much to hate him.
"Will you miss him, Holly?"
"No," she had replied to Foaly that day on the ridge so long ago, "I will not miss him."
At the time she had thought her words to be a lie, but later she realized they were true. She didn't miss him. Holly didn't hate him, didn't love him, didn't miss him. She did more, so much more, than simply miss him. She craved him, yearned for the adventure that she always found herself wound up in when she was with him, and ached for the heady sensation of allowing herself to be caught up in one of his plans. Artemis was her own personal drug, immensely intoxicating and potentially poisonous to her system. His absence left an aching gap in her soul that hungered for more. Still, she did not love him. He was only a child, even by the Mud Men's standards. But, there was no doubt in her mind that if she watched him grow from a boy to a man the obsession she held for him would grow to love. The kindling was there, simply waiting for a flame to light it.
With trembling fingers Holly caressed the pane of glass that kept her from entering the room. "Good-bye," she whispered through silent tears, knowing that if possible, she would never return. She took to the sky.
"Will you miss him, Holly?"
No, she answered the little voice in her mind. I will not miss him. I will never miss him.
A new question popped into her mind then, not in Foaly's voice, or even Artemis's, but her own. "Do you need him, Holly," the voice asked, "and does that need scare you?"
Yes.
Written: 12-27-03